Not that this needs more advertising...

But here's a link to Eclectech and Doghorse's ID Cards Song.

Have A Link

Because I haven't posted anything here in a long time and I feel obliged to post something, here's a link:

Dave Devrie's Monster Engine.

An artist who takes childrens' drawings and turns them into fully-fledged, marvellously surreal paintings. Also, read the interview with the kid who drew one of the originals, it's great.

Some of you must like music...

...right?

(and yes, there are bits where it's out of tune. That's because primitivist-prog is meant to sound like that)

Report from the Headsick Front.

Oh no.

Reading that was in fact one of the nastiest experiences of my recent life. It's the tone that does it; a horrible combination of faux-mid90's-skatertalk ("and a 'tude the size of New Hampshire"), nasty, nasty, wrong theorising about sexuality ("If you're a sissy, you end up gay 'cos you don't fit in and stuff"), really, really patronising down-talk, and Christian Fundamentalism.
I especially like "Hey, no wonder so many young people are struggling with their sexual identity!
It seems like many teens today haven’t experienced how awesome it is to be a guy or a girl. Have you? Do you realize your worth in God’s eyes?"
{insert wince here}

Nota bene also the "Hey, Bogus! Being Gay Kills You, Kids!" section, and the fact that despite the extensive bibliography, the Kinsey-refuting "more sophisticated research methods" are not referenced. I suspect that's because they're the sort of "sophisticated research methods" which involve listening to the little voices in your head or other such rigourous scientific techniques.

Perhaps the reason, O Family.org, that so many young people are struggling with their sexual identity is that organisations such as your good selves continue to spread misinformation and lies about the very nature of a large proportion of possible sexual identities?

[I'd really like it if someone with a better grasp of web-fu could come up with some refuting statistics, as I'm strapped for time at the moment...]

Untitled #1

[click for big]

This was made with watercolour and acrylic paints, nail varnish, oil pastels, biro, permanent pen, bits of newspaper and prayer book, orange peel, and Ronseal wood varnish, on a bit of cardboard box. And then set fire to a lot.

What do you lot make of it?

"The Dead Rose"

It lay on the counter, a perfectly preserved vegetable mortality. Its petals crisp, brown and delicately formed. The eye was drawn, dragged towards it - a morbid microcosm on featureless formica. Jane looked at it, and though about how it must taste of white noise. The crackling static of death's crenellated reminder. Fragmenting curvaceously on the tongue. Jane had the sudden urge to run and fuck, but not in the reverse order. The bell and the badge kept her standing (static again), floating in the shop and the summer's heat - a still-liivng insect in sap yet to become amber.
In some stories, an inexplicable object's appearance leads to a revelation of character or a miraculous quest. This is not one of them.

More music for you.

This may be a load of wank, but it might also be quite good. It's meant to be a sort of Libertines/Clash homage, but unfortunately both my microphones have started to distort if I sing loudly on the other side of the room.

Here you go


And furthermore, the vocals are meant to sound like that.

Breaking News: Pope Still Wrong

*Head-desk*

"...The different current forms of dissolution of marriage, such as free unions, trial marriages, and even the pseudo-marriage between persons of the same sex, are actually expressions of an anarchic liberty..."

I don't know about you, but that sounds good to me. Honestly, what with all those declamations about the essential nature of human beings, you'd think he'd actually look at the anthropological studies of cultures that haven't been infected with his twisted patriarchal-authoritarian worldview. But then again, if he did then he'd realise he's actually Wrong, given the various permutations of human societo-sexual behaviour worldwide. And then his head would explode or something. I mean, who died and made him the supreme arbiter of human moral behaviour?

Yes, I know the answer is "John Paul II", but that's not the point.



It's lucky he doesn't look more and more like a megalomaniac with a tenuous grip on reality who believes that his imaginary friend talks to him every day, really. Otherwise I might be a bit worried...

Humour me as I rant about adverts

This will be an Internet First, I imagine, as I intend to write this post without once mentioning C**** F***.

The bastarding adverts on Classic FM have started to dissolve my mind. Not that I voluntarily listen to the "Smooooth passage to the afterlife" station, but during the unfortunately-quite-frequent times when I have to, the adverts really get to me. And the reason is this: they fucking.cut.the.adverts.at.random, and often play the same one over and over again. (I assume this is to prevent you just tuning out.)

So your typical ad break will sound something like this:

"By donating to JudaeoChristian Aid, I helped to sponsor Gerald, a poor Lithuanian boy, to b-LOVE HORSES, BEST OF ALL THE ANI-o you get tired of those stereotypical youths with their nasty hoodies and sexual liberation? Buy this week's Mail on Sunday, and get a free truncheon, which which to-LOVE HORSES, BEST OF ALL THE poor Lithuanian boy, Gerald, a poor Lithuanian boy DAIIILLLYY MAIIILLLLOVE HORSES"

Something along the lines of Finnegan's Wake, as written by advertising executives keyed into the right frame of mind by having been kept in a urine-smelling room and fed only Werther's Originals for several months. WHY MUST THEY DO IT WHY WHY MY EARS.

Furthermore, I think I'm going to introduce a weekly slot around here, with a different writer each week. Possibly with a set theme. What do you lot think? [Get on with it then - Subed]

At the risk of being too fanboy-ish:

just bloody read it, all right?

On Giants

I went to see a talk on H.G Wells the other day. It was a book launch of some description, and the event was a sort of presentation spotlit between a well-meaning but entirely charismaless chap whose name escapes me, Michael Foot, and China Miéville - both of whom were fantastically entertaining, especially the latter, who took obvious pleasure in getting to say the immortal line "...and so, with this story about killer squid, H.G. Wells predicted the First World War". For those of you who don't know: Michael Foot is a thousand years old, was given the gift of eternal life by Karl Marx himself at the Beginning of Time, and has "British Socialist" printed all the way through him, a bit like a stick of rock. If that stick of rock had met Gorbachev (of which more later) and led the Labour Party, that is. China Miéville has written several existential-surrealist novels of affecting and tragic beauty (which he has cunningly disguised as a fantasy trilogy with giant whales and anthropomorphic cacti), a treatise on international law, and stood in the last general election as a far-left candidate somewhere in London. (He's also a frighteningly sharp literary analyst and a brilliant raconteur. And no doubt a gourmet chef too). And these peopel were talking about H.G Wells, a man who (re?)invented the science-fiction novel, hung about with Bertrand Russell, met Lenin, met and argued furiously with Stalin, and also wrote respectable novels for the upper middle classes to enjoy over tea.

The point being: these people are giants.

One thing that really struck me at the Wells presentation was the moment where Foot casually mentioned having met Gorbachev, and having forced a particular Wells political novel on him.

The point being: these "giants" have a spectacular, polymathic effect on the world - the impression you get is that they must never stop, but instead toil throughout the night, one hand scratching away at a smoking manuscript, the other holding a phone connected to at least one world leader.

The point being: Bertrand Russell.

Not only did this bloke make a really good stab at solving the major ontological and epistemological problems of his time, he also had the sheer batshit insanity to attempt to reduce mathematics to pure logic. (Which admittedly failed, but I suspect that's because it's impossible rather than because Russell wasn't smart enough.) Furthermore, he was imprisoned twice by the government, first as a conscientious objector to the First World War, and later for protesting against nuclear weapons in the '50s. At the age of 87.

The point being: we're poorer these days. Or so it seems, anyway; in the glorious past we had Russell, Ayer, Wells and the like, pushing the borders of just about everything while doing their damnedest to intimidate a corrupt and reactionary hierarchy into eventual submission with pure determination.

These days, we have Michael Moore.

This, of course, is unfair. The examples of Miéville and Foot alone clearly illustrate that all is not lost - we still have our giants. However, they seem to be fewer and further between.

This should not be the case.

I do not for one moment believe that the World and the Arts can't be changed, nor that there's a necessary distinction between the two. I don't believe that Art, or indeed Anything, can be separated from Sex or Politics or Religion, and I think that is a good and vital thing. I believe that if every time you were about to sit down in front of the television, you went out and made, or saw, or did, or wrote something instead, the world would be a better place, and maybe we could all be giants.

Enough of this. I go to put my money where my mouth is.

Mashup Mania Malarky!

Franz Ferdinand vs Rasputina

EDIT: If that doesn't work, try this (.wma for people with mp3-encoding problems).

Other samples include Alisha's Attic, some guy called "saney", and David Byrne. Download, enjoy, and don't tell the RIAA.

Furthermore, Rasputina can be heard and read about and things here.

~#angelnova#~

Click for big.

(The idea was to make some sort of modern, female version of the Vitruvian Man, but I got (a) bored and (b) carried away with pretty computer colouring and things. Everything's computerised apart from the original ink outline.)

Some Old Culture for you

Jimmy Page's discarded score for Lucifer Rising (scroll down for the mp3 download).

What do you think of it? Tell us in the forums.

Jenny Everywhere

You may be interested in this...

"The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed."

" Though the character of Jenny Everywhere is vague enough to allow for many different interpretations, there are a few things that define who she is. Do all these signifiers need to be represented? Absolutely not. But the fewer that you use, the less likely that your character will be recognized as Jenny Everywhere.

She has short, dark hair. She usually wears aviation goggles on top of her head and a scarf around her neck. Otherwise, she dresses in comfortable clothes. She is average size and has a good body image. She has loads of confidence and charisma. She appears to be Asian or Native American. She has a ready smile.

Does Jenny have any powers?

Jenny Everywhere exists in all dimensions at once. She has the accumulated wisdom of all her other selves, and she can potentially shape or change dimensional properties. Her powers basically allow her to have wildly diverging storylines without having to worry about continuity. Her powers aren’t the reason for the story, they’re the means to get to the story. Since she exists everywhere at the same time, you should have no trouble throwing her into any situation you choose, be it riding dinosaurs in the Wild West or arm wrestling Richard Nixon on the moon. For the Shifter, any adventure is possible.

Some people may want to explore her powers further. Keep in mind that your story does not have to showcase any overt uses of her powers at all. In fact, though her powers may be put to use in a fair number of ways, the concept behind Jenny is that she prefers to get out of dangerous situations without the use of these powers. She thrives on the thrill and always plays fair, even if it brings her close to death."

Jenny Everywhere in 'By the Book'"

This was written by grant and drawn by me. And I'm really happy with it, so there.