Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Art of Urban Scrumping

In his show, "Part Troll", Bill Bailey described stealing stereos as "urban scrumping" (scrumping of course being when "youths" nick apples from a convenient tree). This is, of course, amusing. I believe that I have found a superior and - dare I say it - more amusing use for this term.

If you're anything like me, you'll have occasionally over-indulged in an alcoholic respect. Furthermore, you may have once or twice taken a brief trip outside your place of drinking. If you're especially like me (or indeed a certain Mr. Veins), you may well have returned bearing a construction sign or a similarly easily obtainable relic of your inebriated sojourn.

This, friends, is Urban Scrumping.

Obviously, there are limits to what activities this term can encompass. You can't very well return with a stolen car and claim it as automotive urban scrumping. Similarly, if you have an entire room full of traffic cones, you may have over-indulged in this respect.

Naturally, you are very much entering into the spirit of things if you find a keepsake from someone or somewhere you don't like.

If you wake up and realise what you have done and feel those twinges of morning-hangover-regret (this is not unlikely), you may return your momentos and still remain in the spirit of the Art of Urban Scrumping.

And, of course, remember to use your imaginiation. That and don't get caught.


At 10:10 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

can i join you sometime? can you think of anywhere that hasn't been scrumped? and is there a prize for getting a chavs hat or trainers?


Post a Comment

<< Home