Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Corporate Front

I am a part-time barman.

Someone asked me today what the "seasoning" on the "seasoned fries" was. I told them it was the Harvester's marketing bullshit, and that it was just chips. With a bit of cheap salt on.

The duty manager came over and berated me for five minutes, saying that I couldn't refer to the spiel on the menus as "marketing bullshit" in front of Guests (not customers, Guests), and that the seasoning was sea-salt and cracked black pepper. I said there's no pepper on them, and everyone puts salt on chips. They're just chips. She told me that my way sounded terrible, and I said the truth regularly does. She called me unprofessional, and I said that minimum wage doesn't buy professionalism.

Then I laughed at her till she left.

I'm not paid to be Binky the Trumpet-Brained Marketing Coma-Victim's corporate puppet, I'm paid to pour drinks - and only just paid to do that.


At 11:49 pm, Blogger Oscillating Hazelnut said...

Plenty more where you came from, Veinsy.

After all, obviously bright people tend to be passed over for joe jobs like that because they're less likely to treat the word of management as superior to that of God and more likely to think, "Hang on, isn't the Extra Value Meal Deal which costs £1.50 extra and throws in a free soft drink a contradiction in terms?"

At 12:27 pm, Blogger Sable X. Veins said...

Quite. Also, our "freshly squeezed orange juice" arrives once a fortnight in plastic cartons.

I feel bad, because the pub's general manager does know it's all bullshit, and has given me more chances than I really deserve because I can be Charming. So I owe her.

Having said that, most of the cutom-GUESTS, sorry, Guests, seem to prefer my brand of Obvious Honesty to the Corporate Clones' brand of Party-Line Roboticism.

At 7:13 pm, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

I'm sure I'll stop laughing soon. Probably.


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