Friday, November 04, 2005

Cypriotic Problems

I need some help, kids. I have a problem involving a certain Cypriot neighbour who insists on playing the same System of a Down song over and over. It's the one with the vaguely tuneful bit in the middle that talks about people going to parties and having a 'real good time' and then something about deserts before returning to the usual spackey, shoutey and generally incomprehensible shite that make up most of the songs in that genre.
How can you either destroy someone mentally or change their music 'tastes' when they don't speak english? Kindly bare in mind that acts of arson result in a £40 fine and I would rather avoid this if possible.

Suggestions required.

(And 'No', Withiel; he isn't attractive.)

10 Comments:

At 5:48 pm, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

Call him a "commie liberal wanker" and then shit in his ears.

Just as point of information, is it the volume or repetitive playing of the track that's bothering you, or do you simply have issues with his taste?

 
At 5:56 pm, Blogger Talyn said...

A wonderous mixture of the three. If he played his awful music at a low volume I wouldn't care. But I can't actually drown it out with my own. If he played lots of different awful music I'd be slightly less annoyed. And if he played good music at high volume I'd be quite happy.
Also, your plan may be a short term solution, however the "commie liberal wanker" won't understand anyway and have to play his music louder in order to hear it, what with the shit in his ears. Also, he is effectively shitting in his own ears by playing System of a Down but still...

 
At 6:26 pm, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

Okay, well try and communicate to him that his music is too loud and so on. If he's studying in England he must have some sort of grasp of the language.

If none of that works or he blows you off, report him to the landlord or nearest equivalent.

 
At 11:23 pm, Blogger Talyn said...

You would think he'd have some grasp of English. He's currently doing an English For Foreigns foundation year and clearly hasn't got very far with it. The other problem with asking him is that he may but he'll just have it as loud next time. I realise I should simply tell him every time until he gets the message but due to the language barrier this takes lots of effort. We've complained about him before as he insists on filling our non-smoking flat with smoke and our smoking halls manager claimed we were ganging up on him...

 
At 3:02 am, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

Ah, if he's doing Englishasaforeinglanguage foundation, he's probably not got a great grasp of the language. Keep trying to communicate with him is the best advice I can gve.

If that fails and your halls manager is still not being of any use, go over his head. Find someone higher up or of equivalent level to talk to about the problem.

 
At 6:38 pm, Blogger Sable X. Veins said...

I will hear no more poppycock about System. Heavy metal is perfectly comprehensible once you have broken your ear in - in the same way as Geordie is apparent gibberish until you have spent some time listening to it or slapped the offending Scouser until he talks sense.

Granted, their stupid party song is a travesty. However, they do a lot of rather marvellous, often tongue-in-cheek, highly creative experimentation with tonality, time and rhythm.

As for your Cypriot, I suggest you get into his apartment whilst he is at class (windows are often not locked, and doors are easy to open if you know the right people), and remove the fuse from his stereo plug. It probably won't occur to him to check there. Better still, replace it with a broken fuse.

That's what I would do, and I am always right.

 
At 8:34 pm, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

Posting to show solidarity with Veins on the topic of Metal.

 
At 11:09 pm, Blogger Talyn said...

As delicate and lovely as Metal might be, when all you can hear is the vague sound of screeching and perpetual (what with it being on repeat) beat...

 
At 12:13 am, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

No doubt that Metal (or indeed Anything) through a wall sounds particularly good.

 
At 12:15 am, Blogger Thaddeus "B." Glands said...

When I say "good" I mean music played through a wall sounds shite.

Damn lack of "edit comment feature".

 

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