Friday, June 25, 2004

Future Football Frenzy!

So. This is it. We lost to Portugal in the quarter finals of Euro 2004.

I think first we must have a compulsory rant about how unfair it was:

"BLAH BLAH BLAH REF NEEDS GLASSES BLAH BLAH BLAH GREASY DAGO OILSLICK BLAH BLAH BLAH CHEATING BLAH BLAH BLAH HE WAS OBVIOUSLY BIASED BLAH BLAH BLAH WE WAS ROBBED BLAH BLAH BLAH GREATEST INJUSTICE SINCE MARADONA BLAH BLAH BLAH."

That said, I personally am dreading the events that will take place in two years time. That's right, the World Cup. And not just any World Cup, but the 2006 World Cup. And we all know what 2006 is, don't we, children?

That's right, 40 years from 1966, which is when we won the World Cup. And so, tabloid supporters will work themselves up into a paroxysm of patriotic apoplexy. Sven-Goran Eriksson will be placed under even more media pressure to steer his team to victory. David Beckham will get his mug in the papers even more than he already does. Wayne Rooney will be hyped to the hilt even more than he has been. Pundits will engage in a never-ending barrage of statistic swapping, player rating, and a false sense of importance. "Three Lions" will be re-released yet again, only now it'll be "FORTY years of hurt." It will be fairly safe to say that, at at least one point, the entire hopes and dreams of the English nation will rest on the toes of Michael Owen.

Here's my predictions for the 2006 World Cup:

1. We will get to the quarters, possibly the semis, and then die in flames.

2. This position will not be good enough for the press, who will insist on the resignation of Beckham/Sven/both.

3. It'll all blow over, and we'll be resigned to trying again come Euro 2008.

Oh well.

Football. It's a funny old game.

2 Comments:

At 11:13 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

(Sable here, not "Anonymous" -- bloody site won't let me log in for now)

I assume by "we" you mean the English football team, and by "Portugal" you mean their team. I am certainly not a member of the football team, and nor, Mr. Hazlenut, are you.

This is not mere anal-retentive pedantism, but a real point I am trying to make. During every European and World cup, for football at least, the populace deems it necessary to suddenly declare itself English (not British, mark you), and put on a false display of unified patriotism that largely manifests itself in a nasty rash of St. George's crosses on any marketable product. Where does this newfound nationalist fervour disappear to?

The allusion to the English competitors as "we" indicates a psychological wish to tan oneself in the reflected glory of a succesful squad of world-class athletes. By flying St. George (also, I am informed, the patron saint of France and six other nations) from car windows, wearing him on faces, shirts, and even socks, they are reinforcing their own insecure sense of citizenship to the same land which provides these prospective champions of mindless entertainment, these contemporary gladiators.

Alas, when "we" lose, they feel it necessary to begin to divorce themselves from the disgraced competitors.

Note how quickly St. George hides from view, and how much more often the defeated warriors are referred to as "they".

Perhaps this is indicative of inferiority imbued in the unexceptional multitude by constant bombardment with the achievements of the talented, privileged few. Or perhaps some people need to learn that the only way to achieve is through skill and effort, not through "pinning your hopes" on the spurious ability of others.

/Veins

 
At 4:02 am, Blogger Sable X. Veins said...

It occurs to me that I should have put "pedantry" rather than "pedantism".

Hopefully I can pass it off as a self-effacing joke.

 

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